


better cursed than never

by rowenabane



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Chaos, Coworkers to lovers, Cursed objects, Curses, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Idiots in Love, Just Good Old Cursebreaking Fun, M/M, Magic, Pining, Trope: Artifact of Doom, Trope: Who You Gonna Call?, Trope: Youth Is Wasted On the Dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowenabane/pseuds/rowenabane
Summary: Here's Jeno's personal philosophy: anyone that loves their job has obviously never worked with the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 26
Kudos: 312
Collections: NCT Spookfest Spring Scream





	better cursed than never

**Author's Note:**

> happy spooky spring! thanks to my zero brain cells this fic took me forever to write, and I hope you like reading it just as much as I did writing it! <3
> 
> special thanks to [bunnieju](https://twitter.com/bunnieju) on twitter for both inspiring the title AND betaing this for me...a legend!

The office of the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad, which looks and functions less like an office and more like an abandoned antique shop, opens at 9 am every weekday, 12 pm on Saturdays, and is closed on Sundays. This is where Jeno has worked for the past 4 years, mostly during the summer, and on and off during the school year. He could probably walk the 15-minute path from his house to the office with his eyes closed, not that he cares to try. 

He usually arrives by 8:45 am because that gives him 15 minutes to relax before he is required to do anything. His routine seems simple, almost unbelievably so, but where the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad is involved nothing is ever as it seems.

Jeno walks into work at 8:45 am, exactly 15 minutes before he is required to be there, and sees three things:

  1. His boss, Johnny Seo (24 years old, unmarried, and generally a drag) is holding up a leaning shelf. One of the legs is missing, and the plates that are inside the glass cabinet have all slid out of their holders and are pressed up against the glass.
  2. His coworker, Chenle (17 years old, a high school senior, still watches Saturday morning cartoons) is standing off to the side, grimacing as he watches Johnny try to right the cabinet. He is holding a cabinet leg in his hand, obviously unsure of what to do with it.
  3. There is a teenage boy with blonde hair standing off to the side. Jeno doesn’t recognize him, but he seems as if he is panicking. Sounds about right.



It is 8:47 am. Jeno clocks in. 

“Good morning Mr. Seo!” Jeno exclaims, walking over. “Do you need help with that?”

“I would appreciate it,” Johnny grumbles, glaring at Chenle. He sighs as Jeno helps him push the cabinet into an upright position. Chenle slides the missing leg back into its respective spot. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Jeno says, watching the blonde boy pick a teapot off of a table. “Who is he?”

“Our newest employee,” Johnny says, opening the cabinet door to rearrange the plates inside. “I’m waiting until everyone gets here before I start formal introductions. Chenle was _supposed_ to be helping me show him around before we opened, but I guess that just wasn't gonna happen.”

“Listen,” Chenle says. “I was just demonstrating to Jisung how sturdy it was for an antique.”

“But it isn’t very sturdy,” Johnny says dryly. “Is it?”

There’s an uncomfortable pause.

“Yeah,” Chenle says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess not.”

The blonde boy, who Jeno assumes is Jisung, peers at them from over a shelf across the room. “This place is really neat, Mr. Seo! When is everyone gonna get here?”

“Hopefully soon,” Johnny says, looking at the large clock over the door. The letters painted on the glass windows and doors shine yellow in the morning light.

The shop opens at 9:00 am. Renjun, as usual, arrives 5 minutes early, carrying a drink in one hand and sleepily adjusting his glasses with the other. Donghyuck arrives at exactly 9, scowling at the little ringing bell over the door. Jaemin is as always last to arrive, strolling through the door at ten past nine with a sunshine grin and his hair perfectly parted. He smiles at Jeno as he walks in.

“Alright.” Johnny’s voice has an exhaustion to it that seems out of place at 9:30 in the morning. “I’d like you all to meet Jisung, our newest employee. I want all of you to be helpful in showing him the ropes, okay? He’ll start off this week by shadowing some of you in the shop, before moving on to Retrievals.”

Johnny picks a clipboard up off the main desk, flipping a sheet of paper over the top. “To accommodate for Jisung’s arrival, today I will be reassigning some of you, just so we can see you at your best. Renjun is on Inventory, Donghyuck is on Cleansing, Jaemin is on desk duty, and Jeno and Chenle will be doing Retrievals. Any questions?”

Donghyuck yawns.

“Okay then!” Johnny says brightly, pumping his fist in the air. “Let’s do good today!”

Everyone gives him a halfhearted _yay_ and Johnny beams at them. "Okay! If anyone needs me I'll be in my office!"

The second Johnny closes his door Chenle swipes the keys from the desk and sticks his tongue out at Jeno. “I’m driving.”

“You can’t drive, idiot,” Jeno says, snatching them back. “Jaemin, where are we headed today?”

Jaemin flips through a calendar on the desk, circling something with a pencil. “There’s a haunted doll occurrence at 817 Page Street,” Jaemin says. “There's nothing else written here but I’m sure we’ll get calls throughout the day. Have fun!”

Jaemin winks at Jeno, tucking his pencil behind his ear. Jeno stares at him for a second, unsure how to respond. Chenle uses Jeno’s moment of weakness to grab the keys from his hand and jangle them triumphantly.

“You’re _disgusting,”_ he tells Jaemin. “And yes, Jeno, I _can_ drive. I have my learner’s permit.”

Jeno jerks back to reality and sees Chenle speeding out the door with the keys and takes off after him, ignoring Jaemin and his honey-sweet smile.

…

An hour later Chenle holds their newest acquisition in front of him, tilting it back in forth. The plastic bag holding it crinkles in his hands. 

“I really wish we could see more variety in this line of work,” He says distastefully. “You know how many cursed dolls we run into every week? It’s getting to be pretty awful. I hate it when I ask Jaemin what we’re after and he says it’s a haunted doll. I _hate_ it.”

“Yeah,” Jeno says, “but you have to admit that there is quite a variety of haunted dolls. I mean,” Jeno looks at the bag. “I’ve never seen a cursed Monster High doll.”

“Hm. Well, that is true. Maybe when Donghyuck cleanses it I can add it to my collection.” 

“Wait,” Jeno says pausing with his hand on the door of the van. “You collect Monster High Dolls?”

“It is the only true endeavor that man should sustain,” Chenle says solemnly. Jeno blinks at him.

“Um...okay then.” Jeno starts slowly, unsure of what to say. “Let’s get out of here before one of us gets bit by Frankie Stein, the haunted doll,” Jeno says, gesturing to the doll in Chenle’s hands, completely ensconced in plastic. Chenle snorts.

“This is Lagoona Blue, you cretin,” he says, getting in the passenger seat. “Don’t disrespect her like that.”

…

The thing that Jeno loves the most about Cloudville is the calm mornings. He’s lived here his entire life and he can’t even remember a morning that wasn’t crystal blue in some way, sun shining through the white clouds or the rain or the snow. He cannot recall a day with gray clouds or fog, only the perpetually fluffy kind that gives Cloudville its name. Jeno has watched sunrises linger well past dawn, still painting the sky pink and purple. He can see the stars even during the day, white scratches against the blue photograph sky.

“We’re back!” Chenle yells, the bell above the door jangling as they walk in. Jaemin smiles at them.

“Lemme see it,” he says, grinning. “Is it as creepy as the last one we picked up?”

“No, but it definitely is neat,” Chenle says, holding up the doll. It gives them a tightlipped smile through the plastic, unmoving, its blue streaked hair mussed. “You think I’ll be able to keep it after Donghyuck cleanses it?”

“Depends,” Jaemin says, poking the bag with a pencil. “What did it do?”

“According to its previous owner it bit her when she wasn’t looking,” Jeno says. “She had a whole row of tiny teeth marks on her arm.”

“Nice,” Jaemin says. He straightens up. “Donghyuck’s out back but he’s doing a cleansing right now, so it's probably not a good idea to go back there. Renjun is over by the antique wood carvings with Jisung. Bring it to him.”

When Jeno sees Renjun, he is attempting to teach Jisung the inventory system. Jisung, for his sake, is doing his best to appear tentative even though it is obvious he has no clue what is going on. 

“Now you see,” Renjun says, as he grabs a wooden vase off a table, “This used to be cursed so that any flowers in it died. We collected it in January of last year. What would its inventory number be?”

Jisung stares at him. “Does it start with a 0?”

“Yes!” Renjun says happily. There is a pink sticky note stuck to his sleeve. “This would be 011902V, Opposite Purpose category. 02 because it is the second item we collected that month, V for Vase, and opposite purpose because it kills flowers instead of keeping them alive. Well done!”

Jisung’s eyes are beginning to glaze over when Jeno interrupts them.

“We collected this today,” Jeno says, handing the bagged doll to Renjun. “It bites.”

Renjun nods. He pulls the pink sticky note off his sleeve and sticks it on the bag, then pulls a pen out of his pocket and looks at Jisung expectantly. “What should we label this one?”

“The first number is a zero,” Jisung says proudly.

Renjun nods. “052015D, Living/Unliving category.” He caps his pen. “I’ll take this out back when Donghyuck’s done. Where are you two headed now?”

“We’re waiting on calls, we don't have any other scheduled appointments today.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Here, why don’t you hang out with Jisung for a little bit while I go out back? Tell him some fun stories or something.”

Someone screams from the back of the store. Renjun sighs and heads to the back door, leaving Jisung and Jeno staring at each other.

“Hey,” Chenle says, strolling over with a bag of popcorn in his hands and an empty bowl. “Does anyone want popcorn?”

...

"You know what you guys need?" Jisung says as he shoves a handful of popcorn in his mouth. "A cool logo."

"We have a logo." Jeno looks at the yellow letters painted on the windows. "That's our logo."

"No, you need something _cool,_ " Jisung says, waving his hands. "Letters aren't very cool."

"Well, what would you suggest?" Chenle asks, tearing the empty popcorn bag into pieces.

"I don't know. What do you think symbolizes a cursed item retrieval squad?"

"A headache," Donghyuck mumbles as he comes out of the back room. He has a pair of goggles pushed up on his forehead, his red hair pushed back from his face. He sits behind the desk next to Jaemin, huffing. "Do you have any more popcorn?"

Chenle pauses, looking up from the piece of popcorn bag he currently has stuffed in his mouth. Everyone stares at him as he slowly removes it.

"What? There's butter on the paper."

Donghyuck stands, gagging. "Nevermind."

The phone rings and Jaemin picks it up, pressing it to his ear. He smiles even though there is no possible way the person on the other end would know. “Hello, you’ve reached the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad, how may I help you?” He pulls out a notebook. “I’m sorry sir, you’re going to have to stop screaming, I can’t understand you. What’s your address?”

Jaemin looks at Jeno exasperatedly. “Sir, I still can’t understand you. Did you say 4?” He pulls the phone away from his ear. “Sorry sir, but the screaming makes it hard to hear anything. Did you say 45? 49?” He writes something down on the notepad. “Ah, 459. 459 what? Is there a street name to go with that?” He pulls the phone away from his ear again. “Sir, you’re screaming again—”

The phone clicks and Jaemin looks at Jeno as if he is a camera and his life is an endless episode of The Office. Chenle looks up from his torn bag of popcorn.

“What’s up?” He asks, licking butter off his fingers. 

“Sounds like the client’s in trouble but he couldn’t stop screaming long enough to give me his address.” Jaemin tears off a piece of paper, waving it in Jisung’s direction. “Do a Google search for a house with a 459 address." He turns to Jeno. "You two can head out and look for this person.” He blows Jeno a kiss. “Have fun!”

...

Here’s a thing that you should probably know: Jeno definitely, absolutely, does _not_ have a crush on Na Jaemin. No, he does not. Sure, he thinks of him fondly from time to time, but that's normal with friends, right? They’ve been working together for four years, of course he thinks of him sometimes—

“You’re in the wrong lane!” Chenle yells, startling Jeno back into the present. He swerves into the correct lane and Chenle looks at him like he’s sitting next to Frankenstein’s monster instead of a coworker. “Are all your brain cells intact?’

“Yeah,” Jeno says crossly, pulling up to a mailbox stamped with the numbers “459” in gold paint. It’s the second 459 address on their list. “Go check to see if anyone’s home.”

Chenle jumps out of the passenger side and runs to the door while Jeno watches from behind the wheel, resting his head on his hand. If one asked him what he was thinking he would laugh and say nothing, but the truth is that Jaemin is on his mind. To be specific, Jeno is thinking about how cute Jaemin’s hair looks now that he’s dyed it back to pink. It’s a soft cotton candy color, like the color of the Cloudville sky at sunrise. He wonders what it feels like. All of these are completely normal thoughts, of course.

The door opens to reveal a frantic man dressed in a bathrobe, holding a dog in his arms. Chenle talks to him for a moment and then gives Jeno a thumbs up. Jeno pushes all thoughts of Jaemin out of his head. This, of course, is also normal.

…

“Our culprit is this,” Chenle says, heaving an old TV onto the main desk. It’s been hastily wrapped in plastic, too big and heavy for a bag. Jaemin peers at them over the top. “Cursed television that, when turned on, would not stop playing this creepy video of a girl over and over again.”

Renjun walks over, looking at it with a mug in his hand. “Who even uses one of these anymore?”

“This dude, apparently.” Jeno looks at the notes he has scribbled on the back of his hand. “He pulled it out of his basement just to see if it worked. Once the video started playing he unplugged it, but it would not turn off.”

“Nice,” Renjun says, pulling a pad of pink sticky notes out of his pocket. He scribbles “052016TV, Unanswered Animation, Unusual Image” on one of the sticky notes and slaps it on the top of the television. “How’d you get it to turn off?”

“I took a hammer to the back panel,” Chenle says. 

Donghyuck walks in with a book, staring at the TV. “I’m on my government-mandated 15-minute break. I’ll handle that later.”

“You’ve been on your government-mandated 15-minute break for 2 hours now,” Jisung points out, popping up from under the main desk. He has a screwdriver in his hand.

“I know,” Donghyuck says calmly. “What are you going to do? Tell on me?”

“Ah, Hyuck, don’t talk to him like that,” Jaemin says, patting the top of Jisung’s head. “I’m very fond of this little fella.”

“Little?” Chenle snorts. “He’s taller than me!”

Jaemin narrows his eyes. “And?”

Chenle crosses his arms, mumbling something under his breath. 

“Where’s Johnny?” Jeno asked, ignoring the way Jaemin is fondly hugging Jisung like he has adopted a child. “Is he still in his office?”

“Last I checked he was crying,” Donghyuck says calmly, flipping a page in his book. “But that’s nothing new.”

Jeno looks at the clock. Only 2 hours until the day is over.

…

That night, as Jeno sits in his room staring out the window at the cars on the street, he definitely does _not_ think about Jaemin.

“Bongsik, do you think it’s weird that Jaemin is so affectionate? Like is it right for your coworker to blow kisses at you? That’s so weird. I think I hate him.”

Bongsik meows at him. Jeno nods thoughtfully. “I guess you’re right, I can’t hate him. It’s just part of his personality. He’s just good with people, I guess. There’s no point in overthinking it.”

Bongsik meows again and jumps onto his bed, curling up on his pillow. Jeno looks out the window at the evening sky, the clouds twisting into their usual shapes before night falls. He sees one take the shape of a heart before merging with another cloud.

“Yeah,” he says, talking to himself more than the cat. “I should go to sleep.”

That night, when Jeno sleeps, he _definitely_ does not dream of Jaemin.

…

Mornings in Cloudville are just as charmed as the town itself. 

“Alright gang,” Johnny starts, looking down at his clipboard. “Jaemin called to say he would be a couple of hours late, so I’m rearranging assignments for the morning. Jisung isn’t ready for Retrievals or Cleansing but Jaemin told me that he did well yesterday at the desk, so that’s where I’m putting him. Chenle will be assisting at the desk and doing any extra Inventory work, Renjun is on Cleansing, and Jeno and Donghyuck are on Retrievals. Any questions?”

Everyone stares at him.

“Okay!” Johnny says brightly. “I have errands to run in town so I will be out for a couple of hours. Call me if you need anything!” He pumps his fist in the air. “Let’s do good today!”

Jisung is the only one who responds with a smile. Everyone else lets out a tired _whoop_ before turning to the day’s tasks.

…

“First stop of the day,” Jeno says, pulling a sticky note off the van dashboard. “318 Wake Avenue.”

“Let’s just hope that this will be over soon,” Donghyuck says flatly. Their client’s door is painted a soft pink color, the numbers 318 nailed into the wood. Donghyuck knocks on the door and steps back, waiting for a response. The door creaks open and an old woman peers up at them, her glasses magnifying her eyes in a way that makes them seem almost bug-like.

“Hello ma’am,” Donghyuck says, smiling. “We’re the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad. We received a call from this address—”

The old woman at the door adjusts her large circle glasses. “Oh, aren’t you the cutest! Are you like the ghostbusters? I love that movie, Billy Murray was just such a cutie…”

Donghyuck clears his throat. “Ma’am, we’re here because someone called about a cursed object. Would you happen to—”

The old woman rambles on, looking upwards at them. She reaches up to pinch Donghyuck’s cheek, squinting.

“You boys are so thin! Handsome, but thin! Do you eat enough? Are you hungry? I have some fresh chocolate chip cookies, and I just finished brewing tea…”

Donghyuck’s eye twitches. “Ma’am, we—”

Jeno pushes past him. “We would love to! Thanks so much!”

The old lady beams at them, patting Jeno on the arm. “Of course, darlings! Come right in and make yourself comfortable!”

…

“Ma’am, do you mean to say that you didn’t realize that your teapot only poured _blood_?”

The old lady frowns at her teacup. “I didn’t think it was blood,” she says sadly. “I just thought it had a funny taste. I really did think that maybe it was the water. You can’t trust city water these days, you know.”

Jeno grabs the teapot from her hands, sliding it into a bag. “It happens to the best of us, Mrs. Jung. Do you know who could’ve placed the call to us?”

“It must’ve been my son,” she says forlornly. “He’s very astute, you know. A real gem. I hope he gets married soon, I’m getting antsy.” She laughs a little and Donghyuck puts down his red-stained teacup.

“I’m glad we were contacted,” he says, licking his lips. “Objects like this can often cause more harm than one realizes.”

“Thank you so much for all your help,” Jeno says brightly, grabbing Mrs. Jung’s hand. “And thank you for the cookies, they were delicious.”

She smiles. “Oh, would you like more! I can put some in a bag for you and you can take them home, you boys really are too skinny…”

Donghyuck sighs quietly.

…

“A blood teapot,” Jeno says, holding the object in question in his arms. “That’s fun.”

“I might keep it,” Donghyuck says, sliding behind the wheel of the van. “That was the best cup of tea I’ve had in a while.”

Jeno frowns at him. “It was literally blood.”

Donghyuck shrugs and the van sputters to life.

…

“Hi guys!” Jisung yells from behind the main desk. “How was it?”

Donghyuck sighs, taking the teapot from Jeno’s arms and heading out back to put it in the Cleansing room. 

“It was a teapot that only poured blood,” Jeno says. “I actually took two whole gulps before I realized I wasn’t actually drinking tea.”

“Ew.” Jisung shudders. “A couple more calls came in. Some of them are urgent so I wrote them down for you now,” Jisung says, pulling a piece of paper off the notepad sitting on the desk. “I set appointment dates for the others.”

“Good job,” Jeno says, taking the list. There’s 10 names and addresses scrawled on it in red ink. “Did you do this by yourself?”

“Chenle helped,” Jisung admits shyly. “He was, uh, very helpful.”

“Damn right I was,” Chenle says, walking by the desk. He’s carrying a stack of heavy books, the covers disintegrating. He doesn’t say anything else as he disappears behind a shelf.

“We’ll head out now,” Donghyuck says wearily. “If we work fast we can be back in time for lunch.”

…

They spend the next four hours visiting the addresses on the list, collecting everything from the mildly cursed (a rather bothersome painting of flowers that showed the flowers aging in real-time) to the seriously dangerous (an old cassette player that recited nothing but an ancient demonic summoning chant, no matter what was in it). They do not make it back in time for lunch; instead, they eat the cookies Mrs. Jung gave them as they swerve in and out of traffic.

“This is actually kind of fun,” Donghyuck says, biting into a chocolate chip cookie as Jeno makes an illegal U-turn. “I see why you do exceptionally well at this. You have...people skills. Tact.”

“Thanks,” Jeno says, gritting his teeth as he runs a red light, He is worried for a brief second that the camera will capture the license plate number, but then he remembers that Chenle illegally modified the license plate to reflect camera lenses. “Do you like it better than cleansing?”

“Absolutely,” Donghyuck says. He bites into another cookie.

When they get back it is late in the afternoon, and Jisung is still sitting at the desk. Jaemin still hasn’t arrived. At this rate, Jeno thinks it’s unlikely he’ll come before closing. The thought makes him a little sad.

“Donghyuck and I will unload in the back,” Jeno says, handing Jisung the list. Every name has been scribbled out.

An hour later they close up the shop, no sign of Jaemin at all, and as Johnny waves them goodbye Jeno still feels a little pang of sadness in his heart. He walks home, watching the clouds swirl in the shape of flowers and leaves.

…

At 8:45 the next morning Jeno is greeted by a smiling Jaemin at the front desk, eyes glittering with humor as if he hasn’t broken his single most distinguishing character trait by being early for once.

“Good morning,” Jaemin says, smiling at him as he walks in. The early morning light shines through the windows, painting his features a soft pastel pink. “I missed you! How were things without me?”

“Excellent,” Jeno says, annoyed at Jaemin’s flippant attitude. “You should just not come in without warning more often.”

Jaemin actually seems a little hurt, shrinking back. The expression on his face flickers from a smile to a half-frown and then back to a smile, just as brilliant as before. Jeno sighs.

“Where were you?” he asks, softening his voice. “Were you sick?”

“No, I just had to…” Jaemin pauses. “Run an errand. I didn’t think it would take so long.”

“It’s good to have you back,” Jeno says softly. “It’s not the same without you here.”

Jaemin takes a deep breath and opens his mouth as if he is going to say something and Jeno finds himself leaning forward, elbows on the desk, wondering what he’s going to say—

“Good _morning_ everyone,” Chenle yells, kicking the front doors open. Jisung trails behind him, waving at Jeno and Jaemin. “How are we _feelin_ ’ today?”

Renjun walks in behind them, Airpods in and glasses slipping down his nose. “I’m not.”

“Love that vibe,” Chenle says. “Jaemin! What’s up?”

“Just checking what you guys did yesterday,” Jaemin says. He wipes away an imaginary tear. “You kids grow up so fast. You don’t even _need_ me anymore!”

“Of course we do,” Renjun says stoically. “It’s the natural order of things.”

Johnny’s office door creaks open at all the noise and he peeks out, smiling when he sees everyone. The door jangles on last time as Donghyuck drags himself in, and Johnny jumps out of his office, clipboard in hand.

“Good morning!” He says brightly. “How is everyone?”

No one responds, but Jisung gives Johnny a happy thumbs up.

“Alright! Today I would like Chenle and Jisung to do a Retrieval this morning, so everyone else will fall into their usual roles. Jeno, I just want you to help out wherever you can. It’s going to be a busy day!” Johnny pumps his fist in the air, just like he does every morning, and shouts his usual catchphrase. “Let’s do good today!”

This time he gets a bunch of pumped fists, most of them in excited anticipation of both Chenle _and_ Jisung being out of the shop. Johnny gives them a bright smile and then grabs a stack of papers off the desk before heading into his office.

“Alright losers,” Chenle says, grabbing the van keys and the appointment papers off of the desk. “See you later!” He grabs Jisung’s hand and practically runs out the door. Everyone else in the room is left to stare at each other in mild confusion. Jaemin sits behind the desk and runs his hands over the wood, sighing.

“Home sweet home,” he says. He winks at Jeno. Outside, the clouds form hearts.

…

At a little past ten, the bell above the front door chimes and a man walks into the shop, squinting through the dust. He walks up to the front desk, looking down the aisles of antiques. Jaemin looks up at him, smiling. Jeno peers between the antique vases to get a better look at the stranger: tall, brown hair, a charming face.

“Hi,” Jaemin says. “Welcome to the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad. How may I help you?”

“Hello,” the man says. “I’m Jaehyun Jung. I called the other day about a cursed teapot?”

“Ah, yes.” Jaemin flips through some papers. “We picked it up yesterday. Did you have any questions?”

“Um,” Jaehyun rubs the back of his head. “This is going to sound a little weird, but my mom says she needs a teapot, and I could just buy one from the store, but she says it wouldn’t be the same? She wants an old one. Do you guys have anything that could replace the one you picked up? It’s okay if you don’t,” he adds hurriedly.

Jaemin looks at him with a mischievous twinkle in his eye that Jeno can see from 3 shelves away. “Of course. But you might want to talk to our manager, just so you get something she’ll like.”

“Your manager?” Jaehyun says, looking at the door behind the desk. The words “MANAGER” are painted in big dripping letters like the opening title of a horror movie.

“I’m sure Johnny will be glad to help you,” Jaemin says sweetly, rolling his chair back so he can knock on the door.

Johnny peeks out of the door, frowning at Jaemin. His eyes widen when he sees Jaehyun standing at the desk, tracing marks in the old wooden desk with his finger.

“Oh, hello there!” He says, almost tripping over Jaemin as he goes around the desk. “I’m Johnny Seo! How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if I could find a teapot to replace the one you took—”

“Of course!” Johnny says, leading Jaehyun among the shelves. “We have plenty, we deal especially in antiques as well as cursed objects—”

Jeno frowns at Jaemin through the shelf. “What did you do that for? You know how Johnny is about customers. Specifically how he doesn’t want to interact with them.”

“Oh, I thought he’d be interested in this one,” Jaemin says slyly, watching Jeno as he approaches the desk. He smiles, pulling a lollipop out of the pencil holder on the desk. He sticks it in his mouth. “Some people just need a little push.”

…

Jeno finds himself staring out the glass store windows at the perfect blue sky. The clouds are chasing each other across the sky in the form of birds, winged and round and perfect. He can almost imagine them chirping.

“You look extremely relaxed,” Renjun says, placing a sticky note on the shelf behind him. “What’s up?”

“Do you ever overthink things? Like to the point where you’re not sure if it’s actually a big thing or if your brain has _made_ it a big thing?”

“Oh yeah,” Renjun says, placing a pen behind his ear. “All the time. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” Jeno says, before turning to Renjun so he can talk about it. “Do you ever wonder why some people act the way they do? Especially towards certain people?”

Renjun looks up thoughtfully. Outside, the clouds are playing tag in the form of cats and mice. “Sometimes,” he admits. 

“Do you ever ask them?” Jeno asks, leaning forward. “Just for clarification?”

“Only if I feel it’s necessary,” Renjun says. “The human repository of emotions is vast and often confusing.”

“Yeah,” Jeno agrees. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Renjun replies. He looks out the window. “Say, have you seen Chenle and Jisung around? They should be back by now.”

They both look out the window at the same time to see a van careening down the street. It goes over the curb and stops, two of the wheels resting on the sidewalk in a half-hearted attempt to parallel park.

“Never mind,” Renjun says, sighing. “They’re here.”

…

Fast forward ten minutes, and Johnny is angrier than Jeno has ever seen him. Everyone is gathered in a loose semicircle around the desk, peering through the shelves or crouching behind the desk as Johnny rains down upon Chenle and Jisung like the mighty wrath of God.

“What did I send you to get?” he asks Chenle and Jisung, who are standing in front of him with their heads down. There is a beat of uncomfortable silence. “Well?”

“A cursed magician’s cabinet,” Chenle mutters.

“A cursed magician’s cabinet,” Johnny says slowly. “More commonly known as a vanishing cabinet.” He pauses, silently fuming. “And what _shouldn’t_ you do with a _cursed vanishing cabinet?”_

Jisung mumbles something under his breath.

Johnny leans down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“You shouldn’t go in the cabinet,” Jisung says quietly, eyes downcast.

Johnny grits his teeth. “And _what_ did you do?” 

“I went in the cabinet,” Jisung mutters, looking away.

Johnny runs his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth in front of them. “Chenle, as the senior employee I would expect you to have more sense when it comes to matters like this. _Who_ is going to call Jisung’s mom and tell her that her son is now cursed?”

"It’s not that bad," Chenle says. "He's fine! Look at him! It's not like he sprouted horns or grew a third eye!"

“Yeah, Mr. Seo,” Jisung says, giving Johnny a small smile. “I’m fine, really!”

The three of them stare at each other, and if this was a scene in a movie it would be the shootout at the OK corral. Everyone in the room watches with bated breath, not daring to make a sound.

Jisung sneezes and then vanishes into thin air.

Johnny puts his head in his hands, groaning. Chenle reaches a tentative hand into the space where Jisung was just moments ago, wiggling his fingers.

“Chenle,” Johnny says, voice low. “I am restricting you to desk duty for the next three weeks! What am I supposed to do now?”

There’s a sneeze and Jisung pops back into existence on the far side of the room, sitting on top of a pile of boxes. He rubs his nose with his sleeve.

“Donghyuck, take the cabinet out back for cleansing,” Johnny says tiredly. “I doubt it’ll work, but maybe if we cleanse that Jisung will go back to normal. Take him with you.” He looks pointedly at Donghyuck, who throws his head back and groans as loudly as he can before grabbing Jisung’s arm and dragging him away. They vanish out the back door and Jeno hears Jisung sneeze and Donghyuck shout a string of curse words.

Johnny doesn’t even blink. He points a finger at Chenle. “Desk duty for you. If I catch you even _looking_ at an item I will curse you myself. Got it?”

Chenle nods slowly, sighing. Johnny looks at everyone else in the room, rubbing his forehead. Donghyuck pokes his head into the room.

“They’ve both vanished,” Donghyuck mutters unhappily. “Jisung _and_ the cabinet.”

Johnny stares at him for an absurdly long amount of time. Jeno can almost feel himself aging.

“Well, it is what it is,” Johnny says, gesturing vaguely to the room.“Clean up and close, guys. I think we’ve done enough damage today.”

…

Jeno is wiping dust off the desk when Jaemin sits right in front of him, legs propped upright on the spot he was trying to dust. He gives him an annoyed look, but it has no power against Jaemin’s crystal smile. His lips are stained orange at the center, glossy and sugary from the lollipop he has in his hand.

“What are you thinking?” Jaemin asks, popping the lollipop in his mouth.

“I am thinking that we’re closing and I would like to dust the exact spot you are sitting,” Jeno says. “Do you mind?”

“Of course not,” Jaemin says, lazily swinging his leg _over_ Jeno’s head. The moment plays out in agonizingly slow motion in Jeno’s poor addled brain. What is this, a bad 80s romance movie?

Jeno leans around him to swipe at a nonexistent spot of dust and realizes that Jaemin is very, _very_ close. He smells like candied oranges and Lysol.

“I’ve never seen Johnny so upset,” Jaemin says. “But it was kind of funny seeing Jiusng disappear like that.”

Jeno exhales a little, too nervous to actually laugh. Jaemin gives him a strange look. 

“Well, I’m headed home,” Jaemin says, sliding off the table. He pops his lollipop in Jeno’s gaping mouth. “Have a good night!”

Jeno doesn’t even have time to think before Jaemin is out the door. He pulls the lollipop out of his mouth, just a little disgusted. Oh well, he thinks, popping it back in his mouth. It is what it is.

...

“Good morning curse breakers!” Johnny walks out of his office with his clipboard in his hand, a smile stretched across his face. For once, he does not look like he dreads being there. Odd.

“All right,” Johnny says, looking at his clipboard. “Since Chenle is on desk duty for the foreseeable future I’m assigning Renjun and Jaemin to Retrieval, Jeno to Inventory, and Donghyuck to Cleansing. Any questions?”

Jisung raises his hand. “What about me?”

Johnny sighs, scribbling something on his clipboard. “Just don’t...just stay out of trouble, okay?” Johnny looks around the room. “Anyone else?”

Nobody says anything, so Johnny smiles at them, tucking his clipboard under his arm and clapping his hands together. “Alright! I have some errands to run today, so if anyone needs anything just give me a call. Let’s do good today!”

There’s a chorus of half-hearted _yeahs_ and _lets get it’s_ before Johnny ducks behind the desk and into his office. He comes out five minutes later with a folder full of papers and a pair of sunglasses and breezes out the front door into the sunlight. 

Chenle leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. Renjun stares at him.

“Are you gonna give us the keys to the van?”

Chenle, without even opening his eyes, throws Renjun the keys. For some reason, there is a large Hatsune Miku keychain dangling from the end. 

“I’m driving!” Jaemin hollers, snatching the keys from Renjun’s palm. Renjun snatches them right back.

“There’s a reason your license was revoked last year,” he says, scowling. “I’ll drive.”

The two of them squabble as they walk out of the door, leaving behind a snoring Chenle. Jisung sniffles. 

“Would anyone be interested in helping me out back this fine Thursday morning?” Donghyuck says tiredly, rolling up his sleeves. He looks pointedly at Jisung, who begins to stand up but sneezes and disappears. Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

“I’ll help,” Jeno says. “There isn’t much to do in inventory today since Renjun has checked it every day for the past three weeks.”

“Bless his little nerd heart,” Donghyuck says. “There’s a cursed chair I need help moving.”

When they get out back in the garage Jeno finds that the chair in question looks like it weighs roughly a hundred pounds. It’s solid wood and upholstered with molding velvet, currently wrapped in plastic wrap from top to bottom. He looks around the garage for a clean spot they can do the cleansing, but finds there are none. The garage is filled with furniture and shelves full of objects, most of them wrapped in plastic bags and labeled with bright pink labels. There’s _tons_ of junk in here—just on the nearest shelf Jeno can see a salt shaker, a hastily bunched quilt, and a pair of glasses. 

“Do you think Johnny hates me?” Donghyuck asks, huffing as he pulls the chair towards the garage door. “I think he hates me.”

“Why would he hate you?” Jeno asks, opening the garage door. It groans open, pulling itself upwards into the ceiling.

“This is the third time this week he’s assigned me to cleansing,” Donghyuck grumbles. “I hate cleansing.”

“Yeah, but you’re good at it,” Jeno says, turning the chair on its side. He’s careful not to touch any exposed wood—he can see from the pink sticky note on the side that it’s cursed to make the person sitting on it itch uncontrollably. “Can you imagine Jaemin doing it? Or Chenle?”

Donghyuck shudders at the thought. “Maybe it _is_ better that I’m in charge of this.” He goes to a box by the door and pulls out two pairs of gloves. He throws a pair to Jeno, slipping the other on. He takes a pair of goggles out of the box and slides them on, shrugging apologetically at Jeno.

“Sorry,” he says, but he does not sound very sorry. “There’s only one pair.”’

They unwrap the plastic and when the chair is revealed it looks just like any other old chair—moth-eaten upholstery, heavy wood designs, and scratches all along the legs. For a second, Jeno has the irresistible urge to sit on it.

Jeno mostly stands back as Donghyuck does what he’s good at. He watches him scrub the wood with a foul-smelling liquid that drips onto the floor, crackling with sparks. Jeno coughs into his sleeve as his eyes water.

“What _is_ that stuff?” Jeno coughs again the smell acrid enough to make his eyes burn. Donghyuck shrugs.

“Beats me,” he says, methodically wiping the woodwork. “Johnny gets it from the witches on Wisteria Way, but apart from that I honestly don't know.”

Jeno stands there for ten minutes trying not to cough his lungs out onto the concrete floor at Donghyuck’s feet, but eventually, the liquid is put away and the scent begins to drain away from the space. Donghyuck pulls what looks like a leaf blower off one of the shelves, and when he turns it on a dense white vapor steams out the end.

“Geez, is that even legal?”

“Probably not,” Donghyuck says. The vapor covers the chair and lingers there for a second before dissipating into the open air outside the garage door. The acrid, burning smell from before is gone.

Jeno blinks. He’s not very familiar with the cleansing process.

Donghyuck pulls something out of his pocket that looks a little like a compass. He glances at it for a moment and then nods, satisfied. 

“Well, that’s that.” Donghuck pulls his goggles off. “What do you think?”

“Is that it?” Jeno asks. “I thought it’d be more...exciting.”

“Oh, you don't want it to be exciting.” Donghyuck muses, pulling off his gloves. “If it’s exciting, that means it’s difficult, and that means there’s more work to do. Sometimes, cleansing will release a curse onto the cleanser.”

Jeno eyes the chair warily. “Has that ever happened to you?”

There is a long pause as Donghyuck throws his gloves into the trash and walks toward the door. “Of course not. Would you like some tea?”

...

The first thing Jeno hears when he walks back to the front is this:

“Oh, I was raised by a cult,” Renjun says calmly, doodling on a notepad. “It wasn’t too bad, apart from the fact that they didn’t believe in vaccines and thought anybody with a college education was a servant of the devil.”

Jeno pauses in the doorway. Well, Renjun and Jaemin are back.

Jisung sniffles, eyes wide. “Were they cannibals? Did they make blood sacrifices?”

“No, they were Jehovah’s Witnesses.” Renjun continues doodling. “What about you, Jisung? Got any secrets?”

“Um…” Jisung glances around furtively. “No,” he says, the way one who has a very big secret would say it.

“What about you, Jeno? Got any secrets?”

Jeno looks up from the lamp he's pretending to examine. “Oh, um, not really.”

“Jeno here is a man of mystery,” Jaemin says, putting an arm around his shoulder. “He probably has tons of secrets that he’ll _never_ tell us.”

“Well, you know, it's personal,” Jeno says shrugging. "You guys probably don't want to hear stuff like that.”

“I’ve committed tax fraud,” Chenle pipes up, slumped over the main desk.

“I’ve killed a man,” Donghyuck says as he walks into the room, sipping something from a teacup.

Jaemin frowns. “Tax fraud?” 

Jisung stands up, eyes wide. “ _Murder?_ ”

Donghyuck shrugs.

“There’s got to be something,” Renjun says, looking at Jeno over his glasses. “Come on, at least with Jisung we know he likes Chenle. You’ve got to give us something.”

Jisung goes red. “I do not!”

Chenle frowns slightly, pouting. “You don’t?”

“Well, um....” Jisung sneezes and disappears.

“That leaves you, Mr. Mysterious,” Donghyuck says from across the room. “Tell us something fun. We are a _very_ accepting bunch here.”

“I, um...I….” Jeno tries to think of a lie just outrageous enough to seem believable. “I’m a fan of the Winx Club.”

Chenle looks up at him. “Really? Who’s your favorite?”

Jeno racks his brain for a suitable response, which is nearly impossible since his knowledge of the Winx Club is limited to the fact that it involves fairies and witches. “Stella?”

Chenle huffs. “Icy is the only one that has rights. Sorry, but I have taste.”

Jeno can tell he’s sweating like a snowman in August, a feeling that is only heightened by the fact that Jaemin has his arms around him _while_ he is laughing at him. He has reached the peak of humiliation, the veritable Mount Everest of embarrassment.

Chenle narrows his eyes. “What’s your favorite season?”

Maybe he should drive the van off a cliff, or chug some of the cleansing fluid out back. Or vanish into the woods like Bigfoot. Yeah, that’s it.

Jaemin throws his head back and laughs. “Okay, _Winx stan_ , we get it. It’s my turn.” He leans forward. “The reason Johnny isn't here today is because I set him up on a _date_.”

Everyone leans in and gasps.

“A date?” Jeno asks, his voice at least three octaves higher than usual. He clears his throat. “A date? With who?”

“Do you guys remember that guy that came in here a couple of days ago asking about a teapot?” Jaemin’s eyes twinkle. “That guy.”

“I didn’t see him!” Chenle says, raising his hand. “What did he look like?”

“He was tall,” Jeno says.

“Athletic,” Renjun adds.”Dreamy,” Jaemin says, grinning. He pulls a lollipop out of the pencil holder on the desk. “Just Johnny’s type.”

“And no one thought to take a picture?” Chenle huffs and props his elbows on the desk. 

“No need,” Jaemin says, leaning back in his chair. He looks as content as a cat and twice as smug. “He’s standing right out there.”

Every head in the room swivels to the large windows at the front of the store. Johnny and Jaehyun are standing there, chatting amiably. 

“Wow,” Jisung sighs, reappearing behind a bunch of crates. “He _is_ handsome.”

“I know. This is _exactly_ what our dear bachelor Mr. Seo needs,” Jaemin says. They all watch as Johnny and Jaehyun wave goodbye, smiling. The clouds behind them have taken the shape of strawberries and peaches.

The door opens and everyone scrambles out of view.

“Hello everybody!” Johnny says brightly. “How’s it going?”

Renjun peers through the shelf he is pretending to dust. “Retrievals were excellent! How’s it going with you?” 

Jaemin elbows him in the side and then turns his megawatt smile on Johnny. “Did you get your errands done?”

Johnny smiles to himself, shaking his head. “Yeah. I did.” He looks up again. “Good job today guys. I think we can begin closing up now. I’ll be out in just a second to help, okay?”

He goes into his office and Jaemin and Renjun high-five each other quite forcefully.

“A win for Johnny nation!” Chenle says. “You think he’ll invite us to his wedding?”

Johnny opens his door and peers out, forehead creased. “Did someone say wedding?”

Jeno ducks behind a shelf, biting back a laugh. Outside, the clouds are cotton candy pink and blue.

…

Another day, another dollar. Or. in Jeno’s case, another opportunity for impending doom.

The phone rings and Chene picks it up, pausing his YouTube video. “This is the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad speaking. If it bleeds, bites, or breaks bones we can handle it! How can I help you?”

He nods, writing something down. “We handle haunted antiques. Do you have one?” 

Chenle purses his lips. “I believe you have the wrong number. We handle cursed items, not broken pipes. Try again elsewhere. Bye!”

Chenle hangs up the phone and stares at Jeno. “When will people realize that our phone number ends in a six and not a seven? I’m _tired_ of people asking if we can unclog drains.”

“To err is human,” Jeno replies. It's a slow day today, and with Renjun and Jaemin gone on retrievals, it’s awfully quiet. Even Donghyuck has been unusually absent, and Jisung...well, Jisung is probably currently floating in the void.

Jeno looks up from the book in his lap and stares out the windows. The sky is a soft lilac color today, and he sees a cloud in the shape of a tiger pounce across the sky. He imagines he can hear it growling.

He allows himself a moment to wonder how Jaemin is doing, and then immediately regrets it as his brain spirals from _I hope Jaemin is okay_ to _I wonder how many kids he wants._

Someone snaps their fingers in front of his face and Jeno shakes himself out of his self-imposed daydream to see Donghyuck staring at him. There’s a teacup in his hand.

The phone rings.

“Is no one going to get that?” Donghyuck asks, putting down his teacup. “Where’s Chenle?”

“He went to the bathroom,” Jisung says from across the room as he dusts a picture frame into nonexistence. 

Donghyuck sighs and walks over to the desk, picking up the phone as if it were poisonous in some way. He holds it up to his ear. “Hello, this is the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad. How may I help you?”

Jeno watches as a sour expression shadows Donghyuck’s face, even as his voice goes honey sweet. “I’m sorry, but there’s no one here with that name. Thank you.” He puts the phone down gingerly.

“Who was that?” Jeno asks, watching as Donghyuck looks out the window, frowning.

“A wrong number,” Donghyuck says calmly, picking up his teacup. “I’ll be right back.”

He goes into the back room at the same time Chenle comes out of the bathroom. He sits at the desk. 

“What’d I miss?”

...

“Where’s Donghyuck?” Jaemin asks the next morning. “He’s usually here by now.”

Everyone looks around the room as if Donghyuck might step out of a shadow with a teacup and glare at them.

Johnny walks out of his office with a large envelope and his clipboard. “Hey guys,” he starts, looking around the room. “So this morning I received this ransom note saying that unless we deliver 3,000 dollars to an unknown party by midnight tonight, Donghyuck will be killed. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of money, so I’m reassigning everyone.” He tucks his pen behind his ear. “Jisung is on Inventory, Renjun is on Cleansing, Jeno and Jaemin are on Retrieval, and Chenle will remain confined to desk duty. Any questions?”

There’s a weird silence around the room. Kidnapped? Does insurance even _cover_ that?

“What about Donghyuck?” Jisung asks. “He’s been kidnapped!”

“Yes, quite unfortunate, but there’s not much I can do about that. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Don’t worry,” Renjun says, putting on his glasses. “It’s _Donghyuck_. I’d be more worried about the fool that kidnapped him.”

Johnny shrugs. “I have to run some errands outside the office today, so I trust that you guys will hold down the fort until I get back, okay? Let’s do good today!”

He is met with a chorus of bored and uninterested _yays_. Johnny smiles, putting down his clipboard. “I’ll see you guys later then!”

Renjun sighs as he watches Johnny leave out the front door. He gives Jaemin a pointed look before turning to Jeno. 

“Don’t let him drive,” Renjun says, voice low. “Under no circumstance should you let him drive. Understand?”

Jaemin waves his hands in the air. “Yeah, yeah, he understands.” Jeno sputters as Jaemin pulls him into a messy hug. “You’ll keep us real safe, won’t you?”

“Yeah,” Jeno says, feeling his face burn. “Yeah.”

…

Everything goes pretty smoothly for the first few days. Jeno drives them and Jaemin ignores important safety regulations. This was fine with the haunted CD player but it was _not_ fine with the cursed wallpaper they stripped down yesterday.

“It’s a lovely day,” Jaemin says, his feet propped up on the dashboard. He gestures to the teal sky. “We don’t usually see this color.”

“Yeah,” Jeno says, running a red light. He grist his teeth. “It looks really nice. What’s our first stop?”

“A woman with a, uh, porcelain figurine collection.” Jaemin flips through some papers. “She’d like us to do a cursory check to see if any of them are cursed.”

Jeno nods as he turns the wheel. Jaemin smells faintly of cherry candy, the scent clouding his thoughts and sticking to them like taffy. How does he even manage to smell like that? Does he just keep candy stashed in his pockets at all hours of the day?

Jaemin takes his feet off the dashboard. “Jeno! Watch the fire hydrant!”

Jeno jerks himself out of his Jaemin-fueled reverie and spins the steering wheel, narrowly missing the fire hydrant. “Thanks.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “And they say _I_ can’t drive. Well, at least you're cute.”

Jeno struggles to keep the van from veering into someone’s yard. He hates this job.

...

“So do you have any suspicions about which items may be cursed? Just so we have an idea of where to start?”

The woman gestures helplessly to the porcelain figures covering every shelf in the room. Jeno’s not very good at math, but he knows there must be _hundreds_.

“My aunt left them to me when she died, I have no idea of their history.” She looks fearfully at one of them, a clown holding a red balloon, and shudders. “I’m planning on donating them, but I wanted to make sure they weren’t cursed before they ended up in someone else’s living room.”

Jaemin runs his fingers over some of the figures on the mantel, figures of dancing women and fairies. He purses his lips thoughtfully as he tips a cupid figurine to look at its features. “That’s very thoughtful of you, ma’am. We appreciate your call.”

“I’m thankful to you boys for your hard work,” she responds. “Do you need anything?”

Jeno puts on a pair of headphones. “I think we’re good for now, thank you.”

She nods and heads into a different room in the house, attending to some unseen chore. Jaemin pulls a black box out of his pocket, and when he switches it on a small panel in front glows purple.

“There’s so many,” Jaemin grumbles. He picks up the clown figure from earlier. “Is there any particular place we should start?” He waves the black box over the clown figurine and nothing happens. He sighs and places it down, picking up the one next to it—a man with a white suit and hat.

“I don’t think it matters.” Jeno pulls on a pair of gloves (safety first!) and pulls a matching black box from his jacket. The front panel glows purple just like Jaemin’s, unremarkable and unchanged. He leans down to look at a figure of a boy with wolf ears and an ax. Geez.

Jaemin sneezes, but Jeno isn’t paying any attention. He waves the box over a whole row of figures but nothing even happens. He gets the sinking feeling they’re wasting their time.

The woman comes back into the room, carrying a dust cloth. “How is everything?”

Jeno turns to respond, pulling off his headphones, when he sees Jaemin smile and bow neatly to her. His eyes glitter as he takes her hand in his own.

“Madam, I must say that your eyes are quite lovely,” he says, his voice like sugared candy, a saccharine mix of honey and chocolate. The woman gasps, hand going to her chest as she flutters her eyelashes in surprise.

“Oh, thank you,” she says. “You’re too kind.”

Jeno grabs Jaemin’s arm, pulling him aside. “Jaemin quit clowning around. What are you _doing_?”

“She’s lovely,” Jaemin says, not taking his eyes away from the woman, who seems almost flustered by Jaemin’s smile. Jeno can see why—when Jaemin smiles like that, it's hard not to fall in love with him. “Do you think she’ll marry me?”

“Look at me,” Jeno hisses. “What’s wrong with you?” 

Jaemin tears his gaze away from the woman as she walks out of the living room, and for the first time in several minutes, his attention is entirely on Jeno. He lets out a little gasp, as if he has discovered something wonderful, and reaches up to touch Jeno’s cheek. 

“Scratch that,” he says softly, smiling. “I think I’ll marry you instead.”

Jeno coughs violently and pulls Jaemin’s hand away. “I think you should sit down,” he says, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat. He spins wildly around the room, trying to figure out exactly what Jaemi has touched since he arrived. He goes to the clown figurine and lifts it up, swiping the black box over the grinning mouth and red balloon. Purple panel: no curse.

“What did you touch?” Jeno hisses, squinting at the shelf.

“I don’t remember,” Jaemin says, shrugging. He winks. “But I _can_ tell you what I want to touch.”

Jeno screams internally and goes to the mantle, picking up one of the dancing women. No curse.

The porcelain cupid sits right next to it, all faded pink cheeks and misshapen folds of fabric. He looks carefully at the little quiver on its back, squinting at the small carved arrows.

“Jaemin, weren’t there five arrows on this figurine?”

“I guess,” Jaemin says sweetly, crooning at Jeno. “But who cares? Let's talk about you.”

Jeno waves a hand at him and squints at the cupid figurine. There are only _four_ arrows in its quiver. He waves the black box over it and the glowing panel turns from purple to bright red, the box squawking into the otherwise quiet room.

“Oh no,” Jeno says, eyes widening. “Oh _no._ ”

“I have juice, if anyone would like some—” the woman says, about to walk through the doorway. Jeno turns and runs into the kitchen, almost barreling into her.

“You have a cursed figurine in your living room and it has affected my partner,” Jeno says hurriedly. “We have to remove it from the area before it does any more damage.”

“Is it the cupid?” she asks, shaking her head. “I’ve always hated that thing. Please, do what you need to.”

“Thank you,” Jeno says. “I promise we’ll work quickly. Please stay in here while we handle the situation.”

The woman nods and Jeno dashes back into the living room. Jaemin is lying on the couch, chin propped on his hands, and he perks up the second Jeno walks into the room.

“Jeno! You’re back! I missed you,” he says, pouting. Jeno pulls a bag out of his jacket pocket and tips the figurine in it, careful not to touch the porcelain with his bare skin.

“We’re heading back now,” Jeno says, grabbing Jaemin’s arm with his free hand. “Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Jaemin says brightly, grabbing at Jeno’s hand. “Let’s hold hands!”

“Let’s _not_ hold hands,” Jeno says, dragging him out the front door. He waves at the kitchen window and sees the woman wave back before drawing the curtain closed.

“Get in the van,” Jeno says, opening the door. Jaemin clings to his arm, looking at him with wide, unnaturally bright eyes. There is a faintly lilac shimmer to his irises, the color somehow making him seem even more beautiful. _“Now._ ”

Jaemin gets in the car and leans on the dashboard, watching Jeno as he gets behind the wheel. He then proceeds to drape himself over Jeno’s lap, grinning like a fool. Jeno coughs again, almost kneeing him in the teeth.

“You know what?” Jeno grits out, pushing Jaemin off. “I have a better idea.”

…

“You’ve reached the Cursed Item Identification and Retrieval Squad. If it snatches your spirit we’ll snatch it! How may I help you?”

“Chenle, we have a big problem,” Jeno says, pressing his cell phone to his ear with one hand and merging into oncoming traffic with the other. 

“What is it?” Chenle asks, and Jeno can hear the rustling of a bag of chips on the other end.

“Jaemin’s been affected by a cursed object,” Jeno says. A car honks at him.

“Where is he?”

“In the trunk!” Jeno yells as someone cuts him off. He swerves into the next lane and hears a muffled thud from the back of the van.

“Well, that sucks.” There’s some thoughtful crunching from the end of the line. “I’ll tell Johnny. Is he dangerous?”

“I don’t think so, but _man_ is he annoying.”

The clouds are arrows flying across the sky, dancing through each other with no true destination. Jeno huffs, stepping on the gas. Stupid clouds.

…

“We have a code red,” Jeno yells, slamming the front doors open. Jisung looks up from his broom. 

“What’s a code red?” he asks, peering around Jeno’s shoulder. “Where’s Jaemin?”

Jeno doesn’t even answer. “Johnny!”

“Johnny went out to run some errands,” Chenle says from behind the desk. “I’ll get Renjun.”

There is a very tangible sense of panic as Chenle leaves the desk, leaving Jeno and Jisung to stare at each other awkwardly.

“Um…” Jisung looks down at his feet and then back up at Jeno. “Is a code red bad?”

…

“Are you gonna give me a hug?”

“Sure,” Jeno grumbles, sliding his arms around Jaemin’s waist. His skin is warm. “Just hold still.”

“What are you doing—hey!” Jaemin’s eyes widen as Renjun grabs his feet. “When I said I wanted your hands on me I didn’t mean it like this!”

“Where are we gonna put him?” Renjun asks Jeno, his glasses slipping down his nose. He completely ignores Jaemin’s pout and his glittering eyes. “The closet?”

“Uh, yeah. Let’s do that.”

“Jeno,” Jaemin whines, bending his head back to look up at him. His eyes are the most vivid shade of violet Jeno has ever seen. “Would you please put me down?”

Jeno feels his weak, gay heart waver. He stills for a second, unsure, and feels a sharp tap on the back of his head.

“Hurry up!” Chenle crosses his arms. “Do you want Johnny to come back and see us hauling Jaemin through the back door?”

No, they do not. They _really_ do not.

…

“Hey guys,” Johnny says cheerfully, walking through the front doors. “How’s everything going?”

Jeno stares at Renjun, who stares at Chenle, who stares at Jisung. Jisung stares straight at Johnny.

Jeno tries to project his thoughts from his head and into Jisung’s. _Don’t say anything please don’t say anything please don’t say anything._

“There’s nothing in the closet!” Jisung blurts before clamping his own hand over his mouth.

Johnny sighs tiredly before placing an envelope on the desk. He rubs his face a few times with his hands. “Okay guys, what’s in the closet?”

Renjun attempts a winning smile. “Would you believe me if I said that Jisung is lying?”

Johnny stares at him, inhaling slowly. Halfway through his stress-induced breath, the closet door shakes, a muffled voice echoing from inside.

Johnny buries his face in his hands. “I was gone for three hours! Are you kidding me? Who’s in the closet?”

“Let me out,” Jaemin whines. “It's so lonely in here!”

Johnny looks like he’s going to have a coronary event right there in front of their collection of antique used-to-be-haunted paintings. 

“Explain,” he says, giving Jeno a pointed stare. “Now.”

So Jeno does just that. He launches into the story, making sure to describe everything in detail. He does, however, leave out how cute Jaemin looks when he pouts at him, and the fact that he almost succeeded in getting Jeno to let him go.

“Geez,” Jisung says from the back of the room. “Could this day get any weirder?”

Fate must hate them all, because at that very moment the front door swings open with the chime of a bell. Jeno looks over the stack of paintings to see a rather disgruntled Donghyuck walk through the door. His jacket is at least two sizes too big, and his hair has been dyed black.

“Donghyuck!” Jisung hollers, standing on top of a pile of boxes. “You’re alive!”

“Disappointing, I know.” Donghyuck shrugs off his jacket and walks up to the front desk. “What have you goons been up to?”

Johnny turns and smiles. He lets out a little sigh that sounds almost relieved. 

“It’s great to see you!” He says. “How have you been?”

Donghyuck levels him with a long, tired stare, and then gives him the finger. Johnny goes up to him and gives him a big hug, lifting Donghyuck up until his toes barely touch the floor. “I’m so glad to have you back!”

“We heard you were kidnapped,” Chenle says, leaning over the main desk. “Were you?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, face still squished against Johnny’s shoulder. “Disappointing, but not very surprising.”

Renjun adjusts his glasses. “How was being kidnapped?”

“Oh, it had its good sides and its bad sides,” Donghyuck says, shrugging as his feet touch the ground again. “The good side is that I got to see Maine for the first time. The bad side is that I am now wanted for a triple homicide.”

“I’m glad it worked out for you,” Renjun says flatly. He looks at his watch and then heads to the back door, as if he has forgotten something.

Donghyuck walks to the closet, jacket in his hands. “Where’s Jaemin? Did he call out sick today?”

Jeno’s eyes widen. “Wait, don’t open—”

Donghyuck opens the closet and Jaemin comes flying out, wrapping his arms around Donghyuck’s neck and giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. He looks at Donghyuck with star-studded eyes, cheeks pink.

“—the closet.” 

Jeno sighs.

“My _hero_ ,” Jaemin says, his voice like the audible form of a piece of candy. “You’ve saved me!”

Donghyuck pushes him back in the closet and slams the door shut, Jaemin struggling to wedge it open with his foot. 

“Get back in there, heathen,” Donghyuck hisses. 

“Hyuckie wait, I _love_ you—”

The door slams shut and Donghyuck turns, eye twitching.

“A week,” Donghyuck says. "I was gone for a _week._ "

Johnny sighs. “First Jisung, now Jaemin. At this rate, I'm going to have to hire a professional curse breaker, and that’s expensive.”

“Professional curse breaker? I thought _we_ were the professionals,” Jisung says.

“Cursed objects are different from cursed people” Johnny explains tiredly. “You can't hurt a piece of wood or a plastic doll the way you can a human being. If we tried to use the same methods to cleanse you as we did objects you could die.”

“Freedom from this mortal coil would be a blessing,” Donghyuck mutters. He looks around the room. “Has anyone seen my teapot?”

“Someone is going to have to stay with Jaemin until we can get all this figured out. Unlike Jisung, his decision-making skills are very compromised, and we don’t need him getting married before we can figure out what’s going on. Are there any volunteers to take him home until the curse breaker arrives?”

“I’m wanted for a triple homicide,” Donghyuck says flatly. “I don’t think I can entertain guests.”

“Sorry, my mom doesn’t like having people over.” Jisung sniffles. 

Renjun pops his head in from the garage. “I can’t take him either! I have housemates!” He disappears from the doorway and Jeno hears a screech.

Chenle shrugs. “Do you guys actually trust me?”

Johnny looks at Jeno expectantly, and Jeno can feel his palms sweat and his heart start racing. “Guys, I don’t think—”

“Come on, Jeno,” Donghyuck says. “Take one for the team. What’s the worst that could happen?”

_My heart could literally explode,_ Jeno thinks bitterly. What he says, however, is “Nothing, I guess. I’ll take care of him for a while.”

“Thank you,” Johnny says. “I know he’s troublesome but I’m glad you decided to help.”

Jeno can feel his blood pressure spiking as he thinks about Jaemin back in the woman’s house, all smiles and grabby hands. He suppresses a wave of discomfort that spreads across his ribs and into his throat.

Chenle looks at the closet. “So, um...who’s gonna go get him?”

...

Jeno has decided that Jaemin is going to be the death of him. He is absolutely sure of it.

“Can we hold hands?” Jaemin asks for the fifteenth time in the past five minutes. “Please?”

“No.”

“Why?” Jaemin pouts, latching onto Jeno’s wrist. “Please?”

“Jaemin, if you don't shut up we are turning around and I am putting you right back in the closet.”

“Oh, please don’t do that! I’ll be quiet, I will!” Jaemin makes a zipping motion across his mouth and throws away the imaginary key.

Jeno only lives a few blocks away from the shop but he might as well be living in the Alaskan tundra for how far away it seems. Earlier, Jeno had to stop him from proposing to a police officer in the middle of the road. He isn’t sure what he’s going to do if he has to stay with Jaemin longer than a day. He isn’t even sure if he can handle him for one night.

Jaemin’s hand is still wrapped around his wrist, fingers still trying to work their way into his balled-up fist. 

“Jaemin, I need you to act normal in public, okay?” Jeno looks at his phone. “Can you do that?”

“I am acting normal,” Jaemin says. “What’s wrong with how I’m acting?”

“The lovey-dovey stuff,” Jeno says, gritting his teeth. “You need to tone it down.”

“But why?”

Jeno stops for a moment, thinking of a different tactic. He turns to Jaemin and grabs his hands, making direct eye contact. “No one can know you like me. We’re like….we’re, um….”

Jaemin leans in close, voice dropping to a whisper. “Secret boyfriends?”

“Yes! Very secret boyfriends! So you need to act like you don’t like me, okay?”

Jaemin nods fervently, grinning. His smile is so beautiful it hurts Jeno to look at it. He allows himself a single moment to feel proud of his critical thinking skills. Modern problems _do_ require modern solutions.

…

“Is that your boyfriend?” Jeno’s neighbor, Taeyong, asks. He’s standing outside watering his flowers.

Jaemin’s face lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees Taeyong. “I could be your boyfriend if you’d like!”

Welcome home.

“No!” Jeno yells, pushing Jaemin through his door and up the stairs. “He’s just kidding! He’s not my boyfriend! He doesn’t want to be your boyfriend!”

“Sure,” Taeyong says, shrugging as he returns to his flowers. “Have fun!”

…

  
  


Jeno throws Jaemin a pillow. It is almost midnight.

“Bedtime. Go to sleep,” Jeno grumbles, ignoring the way his heart is pounding in his chest. “Please.”

“On the floor?” Jaemin pouts, clutching Jeno’s pillow to his chest. 

Jeno groans, rolling over on his side before sitting up to stare at Jaemin. Jaemin looks softer in this light, more vulnerable, the shirt that is too large on Jeno also two sizes too large on him as well. He looks like a dream that Jeno holds in his heart, one that he does not dwell on.

“Fine,” Jeno says, placing a pillow beside him on the bed. “You can sleep here. But don’t get too cuddly, or I’ll kick you off. Understand?”

Jaemin nods happily, climbing into bed next to him. “I love you!”

“Whatever,” Jeno says, feeling the bed shift under Jaemin’s weight. There’s an extra blanket on the bed, just big enough to cover both of them. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight!” Jaemin whispers brightly. There’s a pause. “Can I get a goodnight kiss?”

“Jaemin, I swear I will kick you—”

“Fine! Fine, I won’t ask again.” Jaemin shifts a little, huffing as he descends into moody silence. A few moments later he huffs again, turning.

Jeno feels he should apologize, feels that he should reach out and pull him into his arms, but he knows it wouldn't be right. Jaemin is not truly Jaemin, and he does not truly like Jeno the way Jeno likes him.

Jeno turns over to stare at the wall. It’s comfortingly blank, and Jeno falls asleep with nothing in his mind except an empty spot where Jaemin usually is.

It’s the most refreshing rest Jeno has had in a long time.

…

Jeno wakes up slowly and pleasantly, warmly, as if the morning is trying to ease him into the harshness of reality. He blinks and sees Jaemin sitting by the window, framed by morning light. His mouth suddenly feels very dry. He sits up, rubbing his face.

“You're awake!” Jaemin stands, almost knocking over the pen jar on Jeno’s desk. “How are you feeling?”

Jeno squints at him suspiciously. “I'm fine. What about you?”

“I'm great!” Jaemin says. He’s already dressed, bubbling with energy.

“Great,” Jeno mumbles, rolling out of bed and stumbling downstairs. He picks up his phone and groans. It’s already past 8 am.

“Okay,” Jeno says, looking through his closet. His mornings are hectic even when he isn’t entertaining his cursed crush. “There’s cereal in the cabinet downstairs if you’re hungry.” He looks over and sees Jaemin making kissy faces at Bongsik.

“Hi!” he says. “I love your cat.”

Jeno stands in the hallway for a moment, debating what he should say. His mind flickers through _I love you more_ and _Bongsik bites toes_ but eventually settles on “We’re going to have to leave soon. Can you stay here while I go get dressed?”

“Of course,” Jaemin says, petting Bongsik. “I’ll wait here.”

Jeno brushes his teeth and pulls on his work shirt in record time, unplugging his phone from the wall and picking his jacket up from the floor. He opens the door and sees Jaemin whispering something to Bongsik, as if he’s telling the bored cat a secret. Jaemin looks up at him, grinning.

“Bongsik is good at keeping secrets,” Jaemin says, and the cat meows, stretching in Jaemin’s arms. Jeno feels his insides go soft at the sight.

“We have to go,” Jeno says. “It’s a 15-minute walk.”

Jaemin lets go of Bongsik, who meows unhappily as he stands. Jaemin reaches down to rub his ears.

Life is hard. Life is _very_ hard.

…

There’s someone new at the store today.

The front door swings open and the bell chimes loudly as a strong gust of wind bursts in, blowing dust into the air. Chenle coughs, waving dust away from his face.

Jeno’s first impression of the new arrival is that he’s like a shadow, his long black coat blowing out behind him as he walks through the front door. He pauses at the front of the cluttered room, looking around at the mountains of antiques. The door closes behind him as he walks forward, the several silver chains dangling from his ear clinking together as he walks. He stops in front of the desk, looking at Chenle with narrowed eyes. His dark hair is shaved short on the sides, a single jagged line shaved into the side of his head. 

“I’m the curse breaker,” the man says, and for a second his voice echoes around the room. “Johnny called me.”

“Hello!” Chenle says brightly. “Let me get him for you.”

Chenle twirls around in his chair and cups both his hands around his mouth like a megaphone. “ _Johnny!_ The curse breaker is here!”

Jeno sees the curse breaker wince.

Johnny ducks out of his office, narrowly missing hitting his head on the doorframe. “Ten! It’s great to see you!”

Ten wrinkles his nose. “I’m here on official business. You told me two of your employees were cursed.”

“Yeah,” Johnny says, turning as he tries to locate everyone. “Jisung and Jaemin.”

He can only visually locate Jisung. Jaemin is back in the closet.

Ten shrugs off his coat and places it on a chair. His clothes are all black, silver chains dangling from around his throat and wrists. “Which has been cursed longer?”

“Jisung,” Johnny says. “Come on over here.”

Jisung waves at Ten, who narrows his eyes slightly. He picks his coat up off the chair and motions for Jisung to sit.

“So what was it?” Ten asks, walking around him. 

“A cursed vanishing cabinet,” Chenle pipes up from the desk.

“Can I see it?” Ten asks. 

“Sure,” Chenle says. “When it reappears.”

Ten shakes his head. “Nevermind, then. What’s been happening, Jisung?”

“Oh, I disappear sometimes.”

“You...disappear.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jisung says calmly, almost cheerfully. “When I sneeze I vanish.”

“Where do you go?”

“Nowhere, I guess. I just kinda float around.”

Ten gives Johnny an unreadable look. He looks faintly exasperated. “Okay then. I’m going to place my hand on your head. I want you to relax, okay?”

Jisung closes his eyes and Ten places a hand on his head, murmuring something quietly beneath his breath. He takes his hand off Jisung’s head. 

“How do you feel?” Ten asks.

Jisung shrugs. “Pretty much the same.” 

“Hm.” Ten squints at him. “That's good. You should be fine now.”

Everyone in the room stares at Ten. “Is it that easy?” Renjun asks.

“Easy?” Ten raises an eyebrow. “I’m an expert, dear. I just make it _look_ easy.” He glances around the room. “Where’s the other one?”

The closet door vibrates. 

Ten opens it and Jaemin jumps out, spinning for a second as he tries to regain his balance. He looks at Ten with wide, glittering eyes.

“I see the problem!” Ten yells as Jaemin tries to put him in a hug that looks more like a boa constrictor consuming its prey. “But I don’t think I can do anything about it!”

“What do you mean?” Johnny asks, surveying the scene with worried eyes. “He’s cursed.”

“Different type of curse, different method!” Ten yells over Jaemin trying to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Can someone please help me?!”

Donghyuck pulls Jaemin away and shoves him back in the closet.

Ten is out of breath as he addresses them. “It’s a love curse, obviously. Someone romantically involved with him has to break the curse. I can’t do anything.”

Jeno feels his heart fall in the pit of his stomach, and then keep falling until it hits the floor, where it continues to go lower until it hits the center of the earth and disintegrates.

“Does Jaemin have a significant other?” 

Everyone looks awkwardly around the room.

“Well, no,” Johnny says. “Not that I know of.”

Jeno’s heart keeps falling.

…

“Operation: Find Jaemin a Boyfriend is now underway,” Chenle says, slamming his hand down on the desk. It’s Sunday and the shop is closed. Technically they shouldn't even be here, but Donghyuck has a spare set of keys and no qualms about breaking the rules. “The goal is to find Jaemin a boyfriend so that he can not be cursed anymore.”

“Excellent!” Renjun says. “How do we do that?”

Jeno sits in the corner of the room, watching them talk animatedly. Jisung is drawing a diagram in highlighter on a loose piece of paper, holding it in front of Chenle’s face. To be very honest, it looks more like a drawing of a rather ugly duck than a diagram.

Jeno sulks a little, thinking about how Jaemin is currently locked in his apartment to prevent him from going anywhere. He’s sure Bongsik loves the attention, but Jeno cannot pin down exactly how _he_ feels. Is he angry? Anxious? Is he about to volunteer himself for the role of Jaemin’s curse-breaking boyfriend just to get him out of his house? Who knows.

The clouds outside are shaped like fish, the purple sky their lavender fishbowl. They swim around each other aimlessly, nowhere to go and nothing to do. 

“What are you thinking about?” Donghyuck asks, holding a teacup in his hand. He sits on the floor beside him, the red liquid in his teacup rippling with the movement. Jeno can see himself reflected in it, all worried eyes and unhappy expressions.

Jeno shrugs. 

“You know,” Donghyuck starts, sipping from his cup. “While I was in Maine I learned a couple of things. One of them was to never trust a man who tries to take you to Christmasland. The other was that opportunity never knocks twice.”

Jeno raises his eyebrows at him. “What does that even mean?”

“It means,” Donghyuck continues slowly as if he is talking to a toddler, “that if you like Jaemin now would be a good time to do something about it.”

Jeno gasps, looking over at the others. They seem happily oblivious to the drama occurring in the shadows of the room. “I don’t like Jaemin!”

“Anyone with eyes and a brain can see you like Jaemin,” Donghyuck grumbles, sipping his tea. “I'm sure he likes you back.”

Jeno thinks about Jaemin in his apartment, trying to curl up next to him as he sleeps. His heart is a traitor, unnerving in its tenacity, and he feels his throat grow thick with unhappiness. “I doubt it.”

Donghyuck stands, his cup now empty. “Trust me. I’ve been around a lot longer than you have.”  
He walks away without another word, and Jeno looks out the window. The clouds are no longer fish—now, they are sharks.

…

Unfortunately, life goes on. Johnny gives Jaemin an indefinite curse leave and orders him to stay home and avoid all people. Jaemin responds by fluttering his eyelashes at him, to which Johnny quickly amends his statement and asks Jeno to keep him at _his_ apartment. For an indefinite amount of time. In his apartment. Jeno shrugs.

He goes out by himself on Retrievals, heading into homes to pick up everything from old keys to suspicious pairs of socks. He doesn’t have a partner this time around, and the sensation of quiet in the van becomes almost suffocating. The sky is beautiful above but Jeno can’t even bear to look at it, even as the Cloudville weather desperately tries to catch his attention. 

White birds against a brilliant, photo blue sky. Jeno sighs and starts the van again, heading to his next destination.

…

“Here’s the list for Retrievals,” Chenle says, handing Jeno a wrinkled piece of paper. “There’s not many scheduled for today.” 

Nothing special, Jeno thinks. A pair of boots that walk someone into traffic. A high school trophy with a golden figure that actually moves. Odds and ends, bits and pieces, little splinterings of haunts and curses.

“Thanks,” Jeno says. “Is anyone coming with me today?”

“Donghyuck and Renjun are both on Cleansing today,” Chenle says. “I am in desk duty jail. Jisung is practically useless. So unless you wanna ask Johnny…”

“I guess not.” Jeno heads to the door. “See you later.”

…

“You know,” Donghyuck says as Jeno walks in the door. “I have this pair of glasses that I think would look good on you. Interested in trying them on?”

“Not really,” Jeno says, carrying in a pair of worn Ugg boots. An odd choice for haunted footwear, but hey, if the shoe fits.

“These are really your style,” Donghyuck says, holding a pair of black glasses up to Jeno’s face. He shoves them onto Jeno’s nose. “Here.”

Jeno gives him a questioning look but Donghyuck just smiles and walks out the back door. Jeno checks his list of items one last time and places it on the desk. Chenle is nowhere to be found, which means he is probably up to no good. He blinks his eyes a couple of times, finding them uncharacteristically dry. His mouth itches.

It takes Jeno a second to understand the source of the burning sensation on his tongue. It almost feels as if he has dumped salt in his mouth, the drying flavor making him gag. His eyes are burning as if he has been staring at the sun.

“Donghyuck, what did you—”

Jeno stops in his tracks as he realizes the glasses won’t come off. Every time he tries to reach for them he suddenly loses the will to do so, his hand veering away from his face. He tries again and his hand seems to move of its own accord, sailing past his ear.

He runs to a mirror hanging from the wall, peering at the glasses in his reflection. They seem normal enough, but there’s something familiar about them, something that nags in the back of his mind. 

“Donghyuck!” Jeno yells, trying to grab the glasses. “Where did you get these?”

No response. He spins around and runs to the back of the shop, flinging the door open. Donghyuck is nowhere to be found, even though the garage is open. He runs out into the back parking lot, heart racing. The sky mocks him with its pink and orange hues. _This isn’t funny!_ he wants to yell at the rabbit-shaped clouds.

He runs back into the building, where he sees Jisung carrying a vase that's almost larger than he is. He peers around the oversized curves, raising his eyebrows. “Nice glasses!”

“They are not nice glasses!” Jeno yells back, finally realizing where he’s seen these before. He scans the shelves in the backroom, all random objects and pink sticky notes, and finally finds a tag without an owner. He pulls it off the wood, frowning.

_082431G_ , the note reads. _Behavior Adjustment._

G for glasses. That’s easy. But behavior adjustment? Jeno doesn’t remember collecting these, and he’s not quite sure what the aforementioned “behavior adjustment” could be.

Jisung puts the vase down. “Are you okay?”

“No!” Jeno yells back. “Donghyuck gave me these glasses and now I can’t take them off and I’m pretty sure they're still cursed!” He inhales. “I am very not okay!”

“What’s all the yelling about in here?” Renjun asks. “And where’d you get those glasses?”

“Donghyuck gave them to me!” Jeno says, aware that he is still yelling. “Does anyone know where he went?”

“He just left,” Renjun replies. He steps closer, looking at the glasses. “Are those from the inventory? Have they been cleansed?”

“I do not think so!” Jeno gestures wildly to his face. “I can't take them off!”

Renjun plucks the sticky note out of Jeno’s hand and mumbles something to himself. “I think I remember these. Jaemin and I were calling them the truth goggles.”

Jeno suddenly realizes that there is nothing he would like to do more right now than drive himself into the forest and never come out again. “ _What?_ ”

“The wearer is forced to tell the truth while they’re wearing them,” Renjun says, scratching the back of his head. “But why would Donghyuck give these to you? Especially knowing they were still cursed…”

The single lightbulb in Jeno’s brain goes off with the force of an atomic bomb. “That rat! That no-good rat! I’m going to throttle him!”

Of course Donghyuck would do something like this. He gets kidnapped and suddenly thinks he’s a matchmaker, which he _definitely_ is not.

“Whoa, what’s going on—”

Jeno barrels past a surprised Johnny at the door. “I’m sorry! Donghyuck gave me cursed glasses and now I’m going home! I am very upset right now!”

Johnny gives him a faintly exasperated look but doesn’t stop him. Good.

Jeno pushes the door open with so much force that he almost pulls his shoulder out of its socket. It’s a 15-minute walk home but Jeno—cursed, gay, and angry—is sure he can make it 10.

…

_Hello, you have reached a voicemail box that is not set up. Please call again later. Thank you!_

Jeno hangs up. And then dials Donghyuck’s number again.

_Hello, you’ve reached a voicemail box—_

“I will beat you up!” Jeno yells into his phone, even though he knows there is no one on the other end listening. “I don't care if you murdered someone! I will beat you up!”

Taeyong looks worriedly at him from his garden as he waters his flowers. “Is everything good over there?”

Jeno stares at him. “Not really,” he grumbles. And then, without any conscious thought, he adds “also, you water your flowers too much.”

Taeyong smiles at him. “Thanks for letting me know! Hope your day gets better!”

Jeno groans and closes the door behind him, sliding down against the wood until he is just sitting there listlessly, staring at nothing. He tries to remove the glasses again but his hand sails right past, grabbing at a loose piece of hair. 

He sees Bongsik saunter past him, meowing, and suddenly remembers that he is not alone, even in the comfort of his own home. 

“Jeno!” Jaemin says happily, dropping beside him and slinging an arm around his shoulders. “You’re back early! How was your day?”

Jeno wants to say a million things at once, but all he can honestly say is, “It started off good and ended up bad.”

“Would a kiss make it better?” Jaemin asks, much to Jeno’s ultimate apprehension. The honest answer would be yes, a kiss would make it very much better, but that's _not_ what he should say.

Diversion. He has to divert the conversation. He stands quickly and Jaemin pouts at him, all grabby hands and glittering eyes. 

“Have you fed Bongsik?” Jeno asks, turning away before he can say something very stupid. 

“Well, yeah,” Jaemin says. He taps the glasses. “These look familiar. They make you look cute!”

“I’m glad you think so,” Jeno says bitterly, even though the statement is completely true. 

…

“Listen, Jeno, I know you’re having a hard time right now—”

Jeno sighs into the phone. “With all due respect, if I come into work and see Donghyuck I will kill him and then you will have two wanted murderers working for you. Please do not ask me to come in today.”

“We are awfully short-staffed,” Johnny continues. “And I don't have any other people available. You’re out, Jaemin’s out, Donghyuck didn’t show up—”

“Please do not make me do this.” Jeno says. His voice echoes around the bathroom, which has become his temporary bedroom for now. His pillow lies in the bathtub, his phone charger plugged into the only outlet. His back is a little stiff from sleeping on tile all night. “Please.”

Johnny is silent for a moment. “I totally understand. Stay safe, okay? Call me if you need anything.”

Jeno sighs inwardly. “Thank you.”

Jeno hangs up and looks in the mirror, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. On impulse he tries to push them off, but the second his intent turns towards removal his hands freeze and he ends up scratching his forehead instead.

Someone knocks on the door. “Jeno? Are you going to come out?” A pause. “I made breakfast.”

Jeno buries his face in his pillow and screams. The entirety of his life seems like the premise of a bad sitcom— _two cursed boys in one house...and one of them loves the other! What happens next?_ All he needs now is some funky theme music and he’d be ready for his own twisted version of _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_.

He opens the door and Jaemin beams at him, handing him a plate with several pieces of toast. They’ve all been cut into heart shapes and slathered with jelly and peanut butter. Jeno looks at Jaemin, whose eyes glitter purple. 

“I love you!” He says brightly, blowing him a kiss. 

Jeno sighs. What’s the point in trying to hide it? “Love you too,” he responds glumly. At least Jaemin doesn’t know it's the truth.

He hands one of the pieces of toast to Jaemin, who insists he eat it instead. Jeno stares out the window at the sky, and finds it is the same lovely purple as Jaemin’s hopeful eyes.

_Stay strong,_ Jeno thinks to himself, looking over to see Jaemin eating a piece of toast that is not heart-shaped but still coated thickly with jelly. He’s adorable, and Jeno loves him with every piece of his heart, but they are both unbelievable idiots and things never work out the way Jeno wants them to.

_Stay strong. Stay strong._

…

Jaemin has gotten more tolerable, at least. He doesn’t try to kiss Jeno every opportunity he gets, and he’s mostly stayed away from random hug attacks. But he does continue his proclamations of undying affection, as well as lavishing him with heart shaped objects of every kind.

“I figured out how to make heart snowflakes!” Jaemin says brightly. “Aren’t they wonderful?”

“They look very beautiful,” Jeno says honestly. It's the only way he can say anything.

“This one’s for you,” Jaemin says softly, handing him a piece of paper with a geometric design cut out of the middle. It's delicate, paper thin and almost falling apart, and as Jeno takes it their fingers brush together.

Jeno resists the urge to say, quite honestly, _I love you_.

…

Unknown number. Jeno picks up the phone, holding it to his ear. A familiar voice filters through the other end, words slightly distorted.

“How’s it going with you and Jaemin?” The voice asks smugly.

Jeno feels his blood pressure rise. “Donghyuck, I am going to kill you.”

“You’ll thank me later.” There’s a burst of static along the line. “Listen, I have to go, but I believe in you.”

“I am going to crush your teapot into a hundred little pieces.”

“Wait!” Donghyuck says, voice warped. “You wouldn’t actually—”

“I am being very honest,” Jeno says, and hangs up the phone.

…

“Are you upset with me?”

“No,” Jeno sighs as Jaemin looks at him with wide unhappy eyes. “I’m not.”

“You don't talk to me,” Jaemin continues. “You act like I’m not even there.”

The words are out before Jeno can reel them in. "I sometimes wish you weren't."

The heartbroken look in Jaemin's eyes makes Jeno wish he had somehow glued his mouth shut. He knows Jaemin doesn't like him, knows that some things never change, knows that the great divide between them is a feeling that Jeno has been trying to bottle up for years. 

Jaemin is cursed by an object. Jeno is cursed by his heart.

"I get it," Jaemin says, standing. "I understand."

Jeno wishes he could say he didn't mean it, but that wouldn't be honest. Sometimes he _does_ wish Jaemin wasn't there-- just so he could be free of his smile, his violet eyes, his false exuberance. Jeno just wants normal Jaemin back, the one who jokes and grins and eats far too much candy.

Jaemin walks into Jeno's bedroom and closes the door gently behind him. Jeno doesn't even want to point out that it's _his_ room, he can't lock him out of his _own room,_ but he doesn't have the heart.

He sleeps on the couch that night. He doesn't have the heart for a lot of things.

…

Jeno wakes up in the middle of the night, heart racing. He hears a door swing open and shut. He sits up, squinting in the dark.

Bongsik meows at the door, pawing at the handle. Jeno gets up and scoops the cat into his arms, heading to the bedroom. He knocks gently on the door.

"Jaemin?" He whispers. "Are you awake?" 

No response. He slowly pushes the door open, hinges creaking quietly. 

The night breeze dances throughout the room, making the curtains sway gently. The bed is empty and the window is open. Jeno gently drops Bongsik to the ground, sticking his head out the window. Jaemin is sitting on the adjoining roof, legs crossed, eyes turned to the starry sky.

"Jaemin," Jeno says softly. "What are you doing out here?"

Jaemin turns those shifting purple eyes on him, his smile gentle. "Looking at the sky."

Jeno swings his leg over the windowsill, stepping onto the roof. His foot is unsteady on the sloped surface, but the wind is gentle and kind, bracing him.

Constellations are different in Cloudville. Of course, they still have all the basic ones—the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, Orion, all the others. But here in Cloudville, the constellations do not just sit and twinkle against the sky. They _dance_.

Jeno sits next to Jaemin and together they watch Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, the big bear and little bear, tumble playfully across the sky. Somewhere behind them is Orion, carefully aiming arrows at surrounding stars like targets. 

Jeno has lived in Cloudville his entire life. For many people the shifting stars and animated clouds become background noise, nothing new or extraordinary, but for Jeno the sight never gets old.

Jaemin speaks without looking at him, the stars reflected in his eyes. The night becomes a purple nebula in his irises, and he asks Jeno this:

“Do you love me?”

He doesn't say it like he expects anything, but he says it softly, carefully, as if the answer is important all the same. Jeno watches Orion hit a shooting star with an arrow right through the middle, the arrow then dissolving into stardust.

Jeno pushes his glasses up onto his face. He hasn't yet been able to take them off. When he answers Jaemin his voice is quiet, and his words are painfully honest.

“I do.” 

Jaemin looks over at Jeno, his eyes beautiful no matter what color they are. He grabs Jeno’s glasses and pulls them off slowly, and Jeno tastes salt as they leave his face. He blinks his eyes a couple times, and finds that nothing has changed.

“I knew I recognized these somewhere,” Jaemin says quietly. “Truth goggles.” He gives Jeno a pointed look, his purple gaze washing right over him. “They force the wearer to tell the truth.”

Jeno’s hand goes to his face. “How did you—”

“They can only be removed by another person, and only if you don’t ask them to. You didn't ask me to take them off, so I was able to.”

Jeno realizes what he has said moments ago, combined with the knowledge that Jaemin knew he was telling the truth the entire time. His blood runs cold, and every thought in his head backs up into a traffic jam in his brain.

“You should go to sleep,” Jeno stammers. “It’s late.”

Maybe it's the exhaustion. That’s what Jeno will blame all this on, when the sun is out and this day has become nothing but a very distantly strange memory. 

Jaemin stands and climbs back into the window, sitting on Jeno’s bed. He tilts his head as he watches Jeno climb in the window behind him, albeit with far less grace. He pats the bed.

“Why don't you sleep here?” Jaemin asks quietly. “It’s your bed.”

“No, it’s fine—”

Jaemin grabs his wrist and pulls him down until they are sitting side by side. His eyes are the softest purple, the shade of the sky at sunrise, the color of magic and wonder. He lays his head on the pillow, looking up at him.

“Will you give me a goodnight kiss?”

Jeno turns around, coming face to face with Jaemin and his wide, glittering eyes. Jaemin smiles softly at him, and for a second he almost seems normal again. Jeno cautiously lies down beside him, as far away as he can on the bed, heart so loud he thinks the sky can hear it.

“If I give you a goodnight kiss will you go to sleep?” Jeno asks, already regretting the words. Jaemin smiles.

“Of course I will,” Jaemin says softly. He scoots closer to Jeno, so close that their knees are almost touching.

Jeno takes a deep breath and leans forward a little, brushing Jaemin’s forehead with his lips. Jaemin closes his eyes contentedly, sighing.

“Thank you,” he says. Jeno pulls back, watching how the starlight from the window falls across Jaemin’s face in wide, pale streaks. His lips tingle as if he has been shocked, and some unknown feeling races up and down his ribs, like butterflies nesting in his chest.

Jaemin inhales sharply and reaches a hand out to brush Jeno’s cheek, mouth open as if he intends to say something else before he falls asleep.

“No problem,” Jeno says quietly, watching Jaemin’s eyes flutter shut. He ignores the sweet taste on his tongue, some cloying mixture of peaches and mangoes. A moment later, he is asleep too.

…

Jeno wakes up to the sensation of someone kicking his leg. Hard.

“Wake up, Jeno!” Jaemin says hurriedly. “Wake up!”

Jeno cracks open one eye. “What do you want?”

Jaemin kisses him on the mouth and Jeno panics, hitting him with a pillow. Jaemin grins wildly at him, hair ruffled, the sun illuminating his skin. 

Jeno squints at him, wondering if something is off. It's nagging at him, some little thing that is out of order. What is it?

“Get up!” Jaemin says happily. “It's a new day!”

Jeno looks at him suspiciously, and it finally hits him—Jaemin’s eyes are no longer purple. Instead, they are caramel brown, just like they used to be.

“The curse is broken?” Jeno asks, his morning brain still trying to catch up with all the sudden developments taking place this morning. “How?”

“This,” Jaemin says, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug, “Is for helping me out. And _this_ is for being the most _oblivious person I have ever met!”_

He kicks Jeno off the bed and he hits the floor with a thud.

“What?” Jeno cranes his neck upwards as Jaemin peers over the bed at him.

“I liked you the entire time, idiot!” Jaemin says, throwing another pillow at him. “You fool! I’ve been dropping hints for two whole years that I like you! Idiot!”

This morning is moving too fast for Jeno’s tired brain. “How did you break the curse?”

“ _You_ broke it!” Jaemin exclaims, frustrated. “By kissing me!”

Oh.

“If you had just admitted you liked me earlier we wouldn't have had this problem!”

“How was I supposed to know?” Jeno yells. “You’re confusing!”

“I literally gave you flowers for Valentine's Day,” Jaemin says blankly.

“Okay? I thought that was just a friend thing!”

Jaemin throws another pillow at him. “I made you a heart necklace?”

“I thought you were just being nice!”

“Jeno Lee,” Jaemin sighs. “Unfortunately, you are the densest person I have ever had the privilege of falling in love with.”

They stare at each other for a long, quiet minute. Bongsik meows at the door. 

“Oh,” Jeno says, clearing his throat. “Cool.”

…

Does Jeno’s life get any easier? Well, that’s debatable.

“Hey!” Chenle says happily as Jeno walks through the door on a sunny Thursday morning. “You're back!”

His eyes widen when he sees Jaemin behind him, pulling a pencil out of the holder on the desk and brandishing it like a knife. 

“Is he, you know...” Chenle makes kissy noises. Jaemin plucks the pencil out of his hands and tucks it behind his ear. 

“I am absolutely in control of my own emotions, thank you.” He looks around. “Where is everybody?”

Jeno watches him act as if everything is normal, as if he is not aware of the implications his miracle cure has on Jeno’s poor heart. Jeno takes the glasses Donghyuck gave him and places them in the back room with their label, ducking away from Jaemin’s friendly conversation. He sees an infuriatingly familiar face look at him from between the shelves, a pair of goggles pushed up on his forehead.

Donghyuck grins. “I told you so.”

Jeno resists the urge to punch him and takes several deep breaths. “Do you expect me to say thank you?”

“It would be nice, yes.”

Jeno stares at him. “I don't know what I’m supposed to do now. I mean, he’s better now.”

Donghyuck grabs the glasses off the shelf and puts them in a bag. “It's not rocket science. What do you _want_ to do?”

…

“Are you going to ask me to be your boyfriend? You look like you are.”

“Shut up,” Jeno says, throwing a dust cloth at Jaemin’s head. “I’m thinking.”

“About what?”

No truth goggles needed for this one. “About the best way to ask you to be my boyfriend.”

Jaemin sticks a bright purple lollipop in his mouth, head tilted forward expectantly. He raises an eyebrow as Jeno takes a deep breath, effectively squashing the butterflies using the real estate in his lungs.

“Jaemin Na, will you be my boyfriend?”

Jaemin pulls his lollipop out of his mouth and gives Jeno a sticky sweet kiss on the cheek. He smells like grapes. 

“I thought you'd never ask.”

…

“I have a great idea for a logo!” Jisung says excitedly, pulling at his shirt collar and moving his hands animatedly. “You know those dolls you put needles in? One of those, but with a happy smile! Because we made it better!”

“That sounds dumb,” Donghyuck says, sipping a glass of what Jeno hopes is red wine. His suit has mysterious stains at the edges of the sleeve.

“It’d be cute,” Jisung argues. Even with a bow tie on he still looks like a baby. “I think it would be neat!”

Jaemin quietly grabs a cupcake from Chenle’s plate while he's not looking. “Did you see where Johnny went?”

Everyone's head swivels until they see Johnny and Jaehyun doing their own version of Cotton Eyed Joe, the both of them wearing black suits and matching bow ties, as well as matching gold bands and bright, happy smiles. Sickening.

“He still hasn't thanked me for that,” Jaemin huffs, grabbing another cupcake. Chenle gives him an indignant look, mouth open to complain, and Renjun hits his shoulder.“I should get a raise.”

Jeno looks at Jaemin, with his red suit jacket and pink hair, and feels a small happiness in his chest. “You look cute.”

“Stop distracting me. I’m thinking about getting a raise.”

Jeno stands and grabs Jaemin’s hand, pulling him to the crowded dance floor. The song is upbeat and loud, and as Jeno pulls him closer he realizes Jaemin’s hair smells like strawberry shampoo. He kisses his hand. “Will you accept this in the meantime?”

“Of course,” Jaemin says, lips stretching into a broad, wicked smile. “but I'll need more than one.”

The clouds turn into hearts in the distance. Above them, the Cloudville sky glows pink.

**Author's Note:**

> [Now Hiring!](https://forms.gle/9pQfv47Pj4jZvCnw9)  
> check out this [bctn hyuck fanart!](https://twitter.com/D0JAECAT/status/1257746596672024582)
> 
> hmu!  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/nastaeyong)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/nastaeyong)


End file.
